I am thinking that it is beautiful that you are 256 colours.
I am thinking that it is not as exciting to see you from a distance.
To see things from a distance is to have perspective, but no emotional investment.
An emotional investment is a blending of colours, a secret colour-wheel.
What if if a group of experimental, fully-funded scientests took an immense interest in your aura and decided to try and understand it? If they took a travel vacation to the moon to track the energy that you project? What if they took some peyote to heighten their energetic experience and then published their findings on a website that is somehow everyones homepage?
What if they found out that you are everybody else?
What would your energetic gestures look like from outer space?
I am in your outer space and I am orbiting.
What do our gestures look like from outer space?
What would these scientists hypothesise about our bodies if we were to touch one another during their study?
Would you try harder to open up to me knowing some people with brains and money had an interest in our affair?
Or that a group of people had an interest in us, in general.
What if I told you I had an interest in you and that money keeps magically appearing in my bank account?
What if I told you I am a miracle?
Would it still feel better to be alone?
You turn your eyes away from my eyes.
You turn your lips away from my lips.
You turn my heart away and I am on the dark side of the moon without you.
You make my aura feel all fucked and grey-scaled.
Having is just a gesture we experience before not having.
Are we going to chase our desire around for nothing?
I am on the dark side of the moon and I am thinking about your energy and how nice it feels when it is synched with mine.
Our bodies are space ships and when we touch the dark matter between us explodes.
I am thinking about the spectrum of colours we make when we explode.
Can’t we just explode again with no emotional investment?
I am eating a poutine on a rainy day and my feather earring is drenched in gravy.
I am eating so much mayonaise and thinking about you.
I’m thinking about how I’ve never broken anything and meant it.
I’ve never broken anything and really meant it.
I don’t think. Maybe I can’t remember.
The truth is I am on the moon when we lay our bodies together.
I am the dark side of the moon when I turn my heart off.
Why does my heart tell me to turn my heart off?
My emotional gestures only mean something if a million other people are doing the same thing at the same time.
I need a million other people to join me on my mission.
What is my mission?
I need a life mission finder app.
I need to know more about the inner space of your 256 colours.
Ashley Opheim is a Montreal-based writer and editor who has been published in various journals. She is the creator of the party reading series This Is Happening Whether You Like It Or Not and also edits and manages Ribbon Pig press. Her first book of poetry and non-fiction should be out before the world begins again on December 21, 2012.